I'm that classic person who really didn't want kids, accidentally got pregnant (was already married)and discovered I loved being a mother. I loved it much more than being a wife. Their dad was the one who pushed hard for us to get married and was very excited about becoming a dad, but when reality hit, he discovered (again, a classic situation) that he didn't like his needs coming second to those of his kids.
We didn't split until the kids were old enough to do things like their own laundry and letting themselves into the house after school. I don't know how I would have coped as a single mother of small children. I am in awe of women who do it all on their own. I never thought of myself as a 'single mother', although from the time the younger one was 11, that's what I was. Looking after them, managing the household and continuing with my career was all so much, much easier once I was in sole charge and didn't have to constantly consult some other person with a different personal agenda (i.e., their dad) before making any decisions.
I think it's very important for children to know both their parents and to feel as much love and respect as possible for both their mum and their dad. Kids want to feel proud of their parents. So I have worked really, really hard to ensure they have a good relationship with their father and see the best in him. He has a lot of good qualities. He just wasn't a good husband.
The only reason I don't regret all the time I wasted on my marriage is that I got these two amazing kids out of it. Family, friends, work, hobbies - I would never again put a man before any of those things.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-08-12 03:16 am (UTC)We didn't split until the kids were old enough to do things like their own laundry and letting themselves into the house after school. I don't know how I would have coped as a single mother of small children. I am in awe of women who do it all on their own. I never thought of myself as a 'single mother', although from the time the younger one was 11, that's what I was. Looking after them, managing the household and continuing with my career was all so much, much easier once I was in sole charge and didn't have to constantly consult some other person with a different personal agenda (i.e., their dad) before making any decisions.
I think it's very important for children to know both their parents and to feel as much love and respect as possible for both their mum and their dad. Kids want to feel proud of their parents. So I have worked really, really hard to ensure they have a good relationship with their father and see the best in him. He has a lot of good qualities. He just wasn't a good husband.
The only reason I don't regret all the time I wasted on my marriage is that I got these two amazing kids out of it. Family, friends, work, hobbies - I would never again put a man before any of those things.
I hope that answers your question!